Recent Articles
How To Be Authentic
You wake up each morning, slipping on a mask that feels increasingly heavy. Each interaction, every decision, is dictated not by your genuine desires, but by the expectations of others, by societal pressures, or by a version of yourself that doesn't quite resonate....
How to Stop Gambling
You start off thinking it's just a game, a form of casual entertainment. The allure isn't just about winning money—it's about the thrill, the suspense, and that intoxicating blend of hope and fear. But soon, it becomes more than just an occasional indulgence. Those...
What Gambling Addiction Feels Like
As an addiction counselor, I've spent countless hours talking to people about gambling addiction. Although each individual's journey with addiction is unique, colored by personal experiences, triggers, and challenges. The account provided here depicts the lived...
Why We Buy Things We Don’t Need
Imagine for a moment, you're standing in the center of a luxurious shopping mall, your arms heavy with shopping bags brimming with the latest fashion, cutting-edge tech gadgets, and high-end accessories. Every shiny object you possess promises happiness, each one a...
How to Build Intrinsic Motivation
Imagine waking up each morning to the relentless sound of your alarm, your day already mapped out by a strict set of rules. "You should exercise," "You should finish that report," "You should respond to all your emails," - a never-ending list of tasks, obligations,...
What are Personal Boundaries?
In recent years, the concept of personal boundaries has gained popularity and and is commonly used by self-help authors, support groups, and the counseling profession. While its popularity continues to surge, the proper understanding and implementation of personal...
A Compassionate Approach to Addiction Treatment
The lens through which we view human nature significantly impacts how we approach societal challenges, including addiction. These perspectives, shaped by various cultural, philosophical, and psychological frameworks, can range from viewing human nature as...
Why Do Good People Do Bad Things
The question of human nature, whether fundamentally good or bad, has preoccupied philosophers, theologians, and scientists for centuries. The implications of this question are profound, shaping our understanding of morality, society, and the self. This article embarks...
Why I Believe People Are Inherently Good
Human nature, a subject of deep fascination and intense study throughout the history of human thought, encompasses a spectrum of views about what fundamentally drives human behavior. While some argue that humans are inherently selfish or aggressive, others present a...
How to Help Someone With an Addiction
Trying to help someone battling an addiction can be like watching them caught in a storm, tossed about by waves of denial, self-destruction, and pain. You want to reach out, to bring them back to the shore. But the storm is strong, and your own heart aches with fear...
How to Practice Positive Self-Talk
Have you ever experienced that persistent internal chatter that seems to focus on every mistake, magnify every flaw, and predict every impending failure? This is the voice of negative self-talk, an insidious inner critic that resides within us, coloring our perception...
What is Self-Acceptance?
You wake up, look in the mirror and there it is—your toughest critic, your constant companion, the one person who seems to hold you to the highest standards—yourself. This is an all too familiar scene, isn't it? The pointed glare, the sigh of disappointment, the...
A Critique of Individual Pathology
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, more commonly known as the DSM, has been the gold standard for the classification and diagnosis of mental disorders for over half a century. Published by the American Psychiatric Association, the DSM is widely...
What is Intrinsic Motivation?
Motivation can be broadly defined as the psychological process that arouses, directs, and maintains behavior towards achieving a specific goal. It is the force that prompts individuals to act in a certain way or at least develop an inclination for specific behavior....
The Paradox of Self Acceptance
You're sitting there, feeling the weight of the world pressing heavily on your shoulders. It's another day, and once again, you find yourself in the midst of an internal war. On one side, there's the compelling, seemingly inescapable allure of your addiction; on the...
Signs of Codependency
You wake up every morning with a heavy feeling in your chest, knowing that your day will be filled with the constant need to cater to the wants and needs of others. You've always been a caring person, but lately, it seems as though your own well-being has taken a...
How to Cope with Nicotine Withdrawal
You've finally made the decision to break free from the clutches of nicotine addiction. You're eager to embrace a healthier lifestyle, but suddenly, it hits you like a wave - nicotine withdrawal. You feel irritable and anxious, your hands are trembling, and you're...
Building a Healthy Support System in Recovery
As you find yourself sinking deeper into the grips of addiction, the world around you seems to shrink. What was once a vibrant and bustling life is replaced by a numbing sense of isolation. You feel trapped in a cycle of substance use, trying to fill the void that...
10 Alternatives to 12-Step Programs
You've made a courageous decision to seek help for your addiction, but you're not quite sure if the traditional 12-step program is the right fit for you. Perhaps it's the spiritual aspect, the focus on a higher power, or simply the structure of the program that...
My Approach to Counselling
Living with addiction can feel like a constant battle where you're always on the losing side. You may have tried to gain control over your addiction, only to find yourself slipping back into old patterns and habits. The experience can leave you feeling overwhelmed,...
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Addiction
In recent years, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has emerged as a promising and empirically supported approach to treating addiction. Developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Steven C. Hayes, ACT is a mindfulness-based, behavioral therapy that emphasizes...
What is Motivational Enhancement Therapy?
Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET) is a client-centered, evidence-based therapeutic approach designed to enhance an individual's intrinsic motivation for change. Focused primarily on the treatment of substance use disorders, MET has also proven effective in...
Overcoming Resentment in Recovery
As you enter the early stages of addiction recovery, you may find yourself confronting an unexpected and powerful emotion: resentment. It's as if a storm has been brewing inside you, fueled by past hurts, betrayals, and perceived injustices. The weight of this emotion...
The Importance of Values in Recovery
As you find yourself sinking into the abyss of addiction, it can start to feel as if nothing truly matters anymore. This overwhelming apathy can consume every aspect of your life, making it difficult to find meaning or purpose. In severe addiction, this sense of...
What is Moderation Management?
Moderation Management (MM) is a behavioral change program and support network that offers an alternative approach to alcohol and substance use treatment. Unlike traditional abstinence-based methods, MM focuses on helping individuals develop healthier habits by...
What is Harm Reduction?
Harm reduction is a public health philosophy and practice aimed at reducing the negative consequences of drug use and other risky behaviors. Its primary focus is on promoting the well-being and dignity of individuals engaged in these behaviors, rather than solely...
Abstinence vs. Moderation
You find yourself once again caught in the familiar tug-of-war between desire and self-control. Each time you give in to the temptation of that addictive substance or behavior, the initial surge of pleasure is quickly overshadowed by a lingering sense of guilt and...
The Insidious Nature of Mild Addiction
You come home after a long day at work, feeling the familiar urge to unwind with a drink. It's become part of your daily routine, and it feels like a harmless way to relax. You have a successful career, a loving family, and a stable social life. In many ways, it seems...
Dealing with Shame in Addiction Recovery
As you begin your addiction recovery journey, you'll likely encounter a familiar yet unwelcome companion: shame. The experience of shame in addiction recovery is like a shadow that lingers over you, often leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed. It's like you're...
What is Addiction? (in simple words)
Have you ever tried searching for a straightforward, easy-to-understand explanation of addiction, only to find yourself drowning in a sea of technical jargon and complex terminology? You're not alone. Addiction is a multifaceted and often misunderstood subject,...
Common Rationalizations for Addiction
As you find yourself feeling tense, stressed, and overwhelmed after a long, exhausting day, your thoughts begin to drift towards that familiar, enticing escape. A voice in the back of your mind keeps urging you to indulge in that one thing that promises relief,...
What is High Functioning Addiction?
Imagine a successful individual with a thriving career, a loving family, and an active social life. From the outside, their life appears picture-perfect. But what if, behind closed doors, they're secretly battling an addiction? This is the reality for many persons...
The Experience of High Functioning Addiction
As you wake up each morning, you feel the familiar weight of exhaustion pressing down on you. Despite the outward success you've managed to maintain - the high-powered job, the beautiful family, the lovely home - your body and mind bear the hidden burden of your...
How Addiction Affects the Family
Imagine a stone being thrown into a still pond, creating ripples that spread outward, impacting everything in their path. Similarly, addiction is a powerful force that reverberates through the lives of not only those who suffer from it, but also their families and...
The 5 Stages of Change in Recovery
Recovery is a journey that many individuals undergo as they work to overcome addiction, mental health issues, or other life challenges. This journey is not necessarily linear and involves a series of stages and personal transformations. The five stages of change...
The Experience of Addiction and Recovery
It begins as a thrilling adventure, an escape from reality or a means to cope with pain, stress, or loneliness. At first, it seems like a friend, a companion who takes away the weight of the world and makes everything feel lighter, more bearable. It gives you moments...
The Four C’s of Addiction
Addiction is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that can manifest in various forms. The consequences of addiction are far-reaching, impacting not only the individuals struggling with addiction but also their families and communities. The Four C's of addiction -...
How Does Addiction Start?
As an addiction counselor, I have witnessed firsthand the devastating impact that addiction can have on the lives of those it touches, as well as the challenges that individuals face on their journey towards recovery. This article aims to shed light on the intricate...
How Does Gambling Affect Relationships?
Gambling, a popular form of entertainment for many, can provide an adrenaline rush and, for some, a temporary escape from everyday life. However, when gambling becomes an addiction, it can have devastating consequences on relationships. Gambling addiction can strain...
Two Types of Gambling Addiction: Action vs Escape
Gambling addiction, an often overlooked and misunderstood affliction, continues to impact millions of lives worldwide. At its core, gambling addiction is the uncontrollable urge to continue gambling despite the negative consequences it may bring to one's life. As the...
Signs of Gambling Addiction
Gambling addiction, also known as gambling disorder, is a behavioral addiction characterized by a persistent and escalating pattern of gambling behavior despite negative consequences (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). It is a growing public health concern, with...
Why is Gambling so Addictive?
Gambling has been a popular form of entertainment throughout human history. Whether it involves playing cards, betting on horse races, or trying one's luck on slot machines, the thrill of taking risks and the possibility of winning big lures millions of people...
What are the Models of Addiction?
Various models have been proposed over the years to explain the nature of addiction and offer a framework for addressing it. This article aims to provide an overview of the six main models of addiction, including the Moral, Disease, Psychological, Social,...
Addiction as a Social Problem
When it comes to addiction, we are often inclined to point fingers at the individual, labeling them as weak-willed, irresponsible, or morally flawed. This tendency to view addiction as a purely personal problem not only oversimplifies a complex issue but also...
Addiction Does Not Define You
In the depths of addiction, an all-consuming darkness can takes hold, leaving individuals feeling trapped in a cycle of shame, guilt, and worthlessness. With every failed attempt to break free, the weight of this emotional burden grows heavier, casting a shadow over...
10 Myths About Addiction
As an addiction counselor, I've heard many myths about addiction. These myths lead to misunderstanding and stigma, often clouding our collective perception and creating barriers for those in need of help. In this article, I aim to debunk some of the most common and...
What Causes Addiction?
Addiction is a pervasive and complex issue that affects millions of people worldwide, causing a significant impact on individuals, families, and society as a whole. It is critical to understand the factors that contribute to the development and maintenance of...
Coping with Boredom in Addiction Recovery
So you've made the courageous decision to take control of your life by committing to addiction recovery. You've embraced a healthier lifestyle, severed ties with toxic influences, and started to rediscover your true self. But amidst this newfound clarity, a quiet yet...
How to Stop Gambling Forever
Gambling addiction is a complex and often misunderstood issue that affects millions of individuals and their families around the world. The rush of excitement, the escapism, and chasing the win can lead to a devastating cycle of dependency and despair. It can leave...
Is Narcissism an Addiction?
Narcissism, a term rooted in Greek mythology and popularized by Sigmund Freud, refers to a personality trait characterized by a heightened sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While everyone exhibits some degree of...
Motivation to stop drinking
Are you exhausted from the relentless cycle of alcohol-fueled nights that morph into groggy mornings filled with regret? Do you long for the days when life was vibrant and fulfilling without the haze of inebriation? You're standing on the precipice of change,...
How to Prevent a Relapse
Recovery from addiction is often described as a lifelong journey, with ups and downs, twists and turns, and unexpected obstacles along the way. One of the most critical challenges faced by individuals in recovery is the risk of relapse. Relapse refers to the return to...
How to Help Someone with a Gambling Addiction
Gambling addiction is a behavioral disorder characterized by the uncontrollable urge to gamble despite the negative consequences it may bring to the individual's life. This addiction can have a profound impact on relationships, finances, and mental well-being. Support...
Staying Motivated in Recovery
Recovering from addiction is a challenging and lifelong journey. Maintaining motivation throughout the process is crucial to achieving long-term sobriety and leading a healthy, fulfilling life. The purpose of this article is to provide practical tips and actionable...
Coping Skills for Addiction
Recovery from addiction is a complex and challenging process that requires commitment, patience, and a variety of coping strategies. Emotional regulation plays a critical role in this journey as it helps individuals navigate through the ups and downs of recovery,...
Motivation to Stop Gambling
It starts with a single bet—a flicker of anticipation and the irresistible allure of potential winnings. The world fades away as the adrenaline courses through your veins, electrifying every sense, drowning out the chaos of daily life. Whether it's the seductive spin...
Early Warning Signs of Addiction
Addiction is a complex, chronic, and relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive drug or alcohol use, loss of control over substance use, and continued use despite negative consequences (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). The importance of early detection...
Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms and Timeline
As a chemical dependency counselor in a detox facility, I assisted many clients in withdrawal from alcohol and other substances. Although many people underestimate it, alcohol is one of the most dangerous substances to withdrawal from, leading to several risky...
How to Cope with Cravings
As an addiction counselor, I've worked with many clients who struggle with cravings during their recovery journey. Cravings are intense urges to use substances or engage in addictive behaviors that can be triggered by environmental cues, emotional stress, and physical...
How to Stop Gambling Addiction
As a Certified Gambling Counsellor, I've worked with many persons struggling to stop a gambling addiction. Although this form of addiction functions similarly to drugs and alcohol, there are some unique things to consider when trying to stop gambling. Gambling...
How To Change Your Life
Do you want to change your life for the better but don’t know where to start? Each year, many people intend to make important changes in their lives but don’t start because of fear. Instead, they continue going down the same uninspiring path, feeling stuck and…
How to Stop Online Gambling
If you are trying to stop online gambling, you are not alone. Over the last couple of years, there has been an explosion of online gambling. As shared in my article on online gambling addiction, this trend has accelerated riskier gambling since it’s constantly...
Procrastination Is Not Laziness
Many people blame themselves for being lazy or not having enough willpower to complete the important things they want to do. Popular self-help messages further reinforce this perspective on procrastination, merely telling people to try harder…
How Addiction Counseling Works
As an addiction counselor, I specialize in human motivation. Although every form of counseling needs to consider the role of motivation, it is especially relevant when dealing with addiction. If you struggle with addiction, you may find yourself…
Why Willpower is Overrated
Willpower is overrated. I know this sounds controversial, but it is something I’ve been thinking about quite a bit for the past decade. As an addiction counselor, former personal trainer, and avid writer on the topic of motivation…
How to Stop an Addiction
As an addiction counselor, I’ve spent a lot of time helping people stop an addiction. Although everyone’s recovery is unique, I’ve seen some common themes regarding what allows people to gain freedom from addiction….
Online Gambling Addiction: A Growing Problem
Since the pandemic began, there has been an explosion of online gambling. With experts warning of this “ticking time bomb,” responsible gambling safeguards are sparse. According to a report by the…
How To Motivate Someone
Trying to motivate someone can be frustrating. If you’ve tried to encourage someone through incentives, punishment, or advice, you may have noticed how these methods often don’t work…
How to Find Motivation
For many people, it’s challenging to find motivation. After a long day, it’s hard to find the energy to go to the gym, study, cook, or clean. Or maybe you’re looking to start that hobby you’ve been putting…
3 Simple Steps to Stop Overthinking
If you’re struggling with overthinking, it might be difficult to focus on things that matter. Getting caught up in habitual patterns of worrying, you’re stuck in your head rather than living in the present…
How to Stop Overthinking and Start Living
Do you find yourself constantly overthinking? Does life feel overwhelming? You may struggle with constant thoughts of “what if…” keeping you up at night. Mentally preparing yourself for the worst-case…
Are You Addicted to Overthinking?
Many people struggle with repetitive thoughts racing through their head, beginning with the phrase, “what if…”. What if I can’t handle all of this? What If I fail? What if I’m not enough? Whatever…
How To Heal Your Relationship With Food
If you have a love-hate relationship with food, you may find yourself constantly thinking about it, depriving yourself of it, or compensating for foods you’ve eaten. Like the cycle of an abusive…
How to Heal From Emotionally Unavailable Parents
Healing from emotionally immature parents requires discovering your healing fantasy, stepping out of your role self, clarifying your values, setting personal boundaries, taking an observational perspective…
My Counselling Toolkit
Over the last couple of months, I have been busy sharpening the tools in my counselling toolkit. Due to the pandemic, there has been a high demand for mental health services, leading me to take a new role doing virtual counselling for clients…
The Myth of the Addictive Personality
Regardless of their personality, addiction can affect anyone. Although specific personality characteristics can be correlated with certain types of addiction, the idea of a single…
Underlying Causes of Addiction
The underlying causes of addiction include trauma, unmet needs, or other emotionally painful experiences resulting in the desire to cope in the short-term through substances or behaviors that mask the pain…
What Drives Addiction?
Addiction is driven by neurological changes related to dopamine, the reward center, and the self-regulatory center in the brain. This produces a learned pattern of coping with underlying pain or unmet needs…
7 Ways to Stop Gambling and Save Money
Let go of common gambling fallacies, decide if gambling is really worth it, self-exclude or use a gambling blocker, replace gambling with other activities, identify your gambling triggers…
What Are Our Underlying Needs?
Our underlying needs consist of the following: belonging and connection, meaning and self-direction, competence, coherence, orientation, and feeling. Let’s delve into each of these six areas…
16 Reasons Being Sober Is Worth It
Being sober is worth it because you can live a life of meaning and purpose, you feel healthier and more vital, you’re thriving rather than just coping with life, and you’re no longer living…
Helping a Son With an Addiction
If your son is struggling with an addiction, how can you help? Don’t blame yourself, set personal boundaries, engage in helpful communication, find a counselor or support group. Each of these strategies will help you be the most helpful version of yourself…
How to be More Flexible In Life
Accept what you can’t change, step back from your thoughts, focus on the present, see the bigger picture, live by your values, and take some risks. Let’s take a closer look at each of these six areas of mental flexibility…
What are the Benefits of Counseling?
Counseling can lead to fewer anxious thoughts, improved mood, insight into self-destructive patterns, increased self-esteem and confidence, a clearer sense of purpose, better focus on the present moment, greater…
What Counseling is Not
Counseling is not just advice, counseling is not cheerleading, counseling is not necessarily easy, counseling is not a quick fix, and counseling is not all the same. Let’s look at each of these areas, one by one, to further dispel some common myths about counseling…
Suicide as an Escape
Suicide is an escape from deep emotional pain, in addition to an escape from the self and the world. It often occurs when one feels hopelessly socially isolated or feels like a burden on others. Let’s unpack what this means and how suicide and addiction operate…
How Does Motivation Work?
Motivation works though a dopaminergic neural process whereby our brains reward us when we carry out a task that meets our internal human need for a sense of autonomy, competence, relatedness, or basic survival needs such as food, safety, or relief from pain…
What is Creative Hopelessness?
The concept of creative hopelessness is a technique in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) designed to help persons give up on ineffective ways of being, helping them open up to a new values-based path forward…
How To Do Motivational Interviewing
Engage them through reflective listening, focus on the main issue they are facing, evoke their reasons for change, and collaborate on a plan for change. In this article, I delve into each of these four processes of motivational interviewing, translating…
How to Improve Psychological Flexibility
Be willing to feel difficult emotions, step back from your thoughts, focus on the present, focus on connection, not comparison, live by your own values, build habits based on your values. These six processes can be divided into three major areas, including…
12 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health
Practice saying “no,” ask for support when needed, let go of toxic relationships, meaningfully connect with others,focus on the present, get clear on your values, take time for yourself, focus on what you are grateful for, incorporate some form of exercise…
What are the Root Causes of Addiction?
Underlying root causes of addiction include trauma, pain, and unmet needs such as purpose, belonging, and self-esteem, which may be amplified by family and genetic factors. Let’s dig into the research and unpack each of these underlying causes…
How Does Stigma Affect Mental Health?
Stigma affects mental health by inflicting further harm on already vulnerable populations. A person may internalize a stigmatizing label, causing further isolation, distrust, and low self-esteem, resulting in increased anxiety or depression. Anxiety is the fight or flight…
Why it’s so Hard to Find a Good Therapist
It can be challenging to find a person who specializes in a specific area of concern. Also, there are many ineffective therapists, so persons seeking therapy need to be critical of the support they are receiving. This article dives into this important issue, helping you…
Does Counselling Work?
Counselling works in the short-term and long-term, so long as it is practiced by a skilled counsellor using evidence-based techniques, in addition to having strong empathic interpersonal abilities to facilitate a supportive therapeutic relationship. As a counsellor, I’ve personally seen many…
8 Types of Denial in Addiction
Some of the most common types of denial consist of the following: minimization, optimism bias, avoidance, control fallacies, mental filtering, normalizing, just-world Fallacy, and externalizing responsibility. Each of these are types of cognitive distortions, logical fallacies, or defense mechanisms…
12 Early Warning Signs of a Relapse
Early warning signs of a relapse consist of isolating oneself, becoming irritable and reactive, becoming dishonest and deceptive, worrying about other people, overconfidence in one’s recovery, shifting back into unhelpful networks, feeling…
The Importance of Having Direction in Life
Having direction allows you to maintain mental resilience during transitions by facilitating a sense of underlying purpose, not dependent on the specific role one occupies. Also, having a sense of direction promotes better mental health and stronger adherence to…
What Does Opioid Withdrawal Feel Like?
Opioid withdrawals are so painful because of the rebound effect. Since opioids reduce one’s ability to feel pain, stopping an opioid once dependent causes the opposite effect, producing severe pain. The rebound effect is a phenomenon that can be applied to…
What Are Some Addictive Behaviors?
Addictive behaviors operate similar to addictive substances, causing craving, loss of control, and continued use despite negative consequences. Addictions are ways of coping with difficult underlying thoughts or feelings in the short-term…